Granny Smith

by Apple Slap

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1.
LA Dream 02:23
She knows She knows all the homes Are separated by the same old tonic traffic lines She knows All the songs on the radio Fit inside those fifteen minute gaps that you will drive Those fifteen minutes last as long as you can stand to drive I'm trying to keep my head empty for you babe I'm trying not to say much of anything The dreamy grass will grow As long as you can stretch your garden hose As long as you can keep your neighbor city's envy dry Planting the trees and the Starbucks mini-malls Where the ecologies predict they'll grow Like mutual index funds in Chinese commerce farms And the police sip their marijuana health shakes In the parking lots I'm trying to keep my head empty for you babe I'm trying not to say much of anything I dream in garden green But I'm dying not to settle into anything
2.
We are the tigers of the boulevard We are the sharks that eat the sharks We don't wanna cause no trouble We don't wanna hurt no one We just want our place back in the sun I'll see you in the shadows I'll see you night and day I'll see you in the shadows Dreaming about someone worlds away And when your daydream starts to fall apart We'll tear the pieces into stars Then the night will rise above us Steal the patter from ours hearts And give us every reason not to carry on I'll see you in the shadows I'll see you night and day I'll see you in the shadows Dreaming about someone worlds away I'll see you sleeping in the shade Where is your warmer place to lay? Midnight, it's time for you play When I shake your tender vittles Then you wake, my little vixen I'll see you in the shadows I'll see you night and day I'll see you in the shadows Dreaming about someone worlds away We live the lifestyles of the superstars We build our homes and drive our cars Don't try to keep us under Don't try to spoil our fun Don't tell us we're not the only ones
3.
Swell 03:36
She thought she might be lazy Wait, the movement is at stake That wave is gonna break As she rides it out of sight He thought she'd wait forever Wrong - now he's all alone Sitting in her home So much for hue and cry Here's a prayer for the sleeping Wake up just in time Here's the alarm Safe from harm Ride the swell and you're gone She broke her last promise Harsh! but who was gonna save her From that evil wave That was pulling her down? He lost that old momentum Stop - now he's gonna sink Tumble in the drink Maybe it's still dry Here's a prayer for the sleeping Wake up just in time Here's the alarm Safe from harm Ride the swell and you're gone We want to be novel, proud The winds are gonna change Things will rearrange I'm not on the side When is it made apparent? Then you will realize Between your happy thighs You can feel the swell Here's a prayer for the sleeping Wake up just in time Here's the alarm Safe from harm Ride the swell and you're gone
4.
the doorbell chimes it's own discord most crimes aren't underscored but we cringe at the fate of those who let them penetrate so she has to raise her dress one last time before she rests damn the bites they come so quick the make you sweat but they make me sick Hopscotch a fith for the tone you'd always hoped would leave you alone I sold a title for escape she sold acceptance for a rape so she has to raise her dress one last time before she rests damn the bites they come so quick the make you sweat but they make me sick double chocolate overture thought it's alcahol they prefer I've cheered my dampened heart with candy from the start
5.
XY Pig Dogs 02:40
Farewell, Milquetoast There was something in the water That would not abide by the lines They were brown and shiny Just like the tules That you cut down like soldiers On the last of your expeditions Macheteing his inhibitions Whether by learning or fiat You are an ideologue Brave cedar tirades remind me Of the outdoors And the prohibitions of love and science You know they're all brunette and blonde Just like the wildflowers they wind their way Into every speak gone wrong This speak's gone wrong She is the inspiration In his search for the missing senses But whether by learning or fiat She is an ideologue Is this burning an eternal flame? Flying on vestigial wings Pushing up wrinkled sleeves As it pushes its parlay past the dealers Who, in their genetic kindness Sprouting from 72 sites of origin, Are point-pinning the days it takes To swell into something like life-sized Whether by learning or fiat You are an ideologue In pursuit of your personal agenda Dressed mostly in white Your nine-string guitar blazing Into the sky forevermore
6.
Katrina 04:27
Coming to us from so far away We moved you from your home not once, but twice The few friends you leave behind Will start wearing pretty dresses and dating little boys Doing the things that little girls do The pressure for someone who is fifteen That balancing act is far more pressing Than the one that wins us applause Especially when I've not a clue why anyone Why would anyone do this? You decided for me, oh, didn't you? I'll never be a little girl like you were Seared into my head Two thousand routines, maybe three Who ever heard of a precious little thing like me Having trouble with a night's sleep? Waking to the vision of grown-ups judging me Grown-ups who don't even know me Katrina, my sweet child You know that I love your kind 'Cause your not too old But even still, you're too young for me You're too young to hold I'll never be a little girl like you were And there'll never be another time when I'm fifteen
7.
Totem in a teabag, promise on your lips, You push your luck and of course it trips, Brush back your hair straighten your skirt, Hobble down the street pretend it don't hurt Fees gone up esteems gone down You painted your face now you feel like a clown Try to pass it off as one of those days The ships on fire and the chaplin prays Don't you feel like weepin'? Something pure starts to weaken Don't worry baby it's not your fault Everything eventually comes to a halt You got your lazy friends, hostile pets And a gracious ex to pay your debts So you let him think he's still got a chance Ask his brother to teach you to dance Out all night with a cousin named Max Drinkin' red wine on the railroad tracks Don't you feel like weepin'? Something pure starts to weaken Eventually one thing leads to another And by the time you get a call from his brother You're in a hospital bed after a hell of a night They've taken off your legs and your feelin uptight You tell him "Blow off and screw his brother too" Slam the phone, call the nurse when you're through And in the next bed graced with charm Is a single guy who ain't got arms
8.
Candice Blah Candice Blah Candice Blah Her hi-top shoes betray her popping fresh views Neopolitan socks don't begin to tell half of her story She's probably not even forty Candice Blah Candice Blah Candice Blah She knows her British novel before 1810 She's travelled the world and come back again Blue fingernails and blue toes And who knows Candice Blah Candice Blah Candice Blah Part time on the faculty, it's a travesty She drives to us from North Beach In her Volkswagen bug It's probably a very old one Candice Blah Candice Blah Candice Blah The way she moves instills collegiate blues Hovering over the chalkboard Slip a note under her door: "Lecture me more..." Candice Blah Candice Blah Candice Blah
9.
Hey Cindy, have we done this before? Did you meet me at the sliding glass door on the other side of the pool filled with love songs? You make me drool Hey baby come over here Water makes you look so fresh Oops, I didn't just say that It burns to open my eyes Your hair is wet again and there's that trick again With the thumb beneath your bikini I can't count how many of those little things you have Or how many times I have caught you at the beach In a look of seduction so indiscreet Or in the supermarket on the rack Hey baby come over here Water makes you look so fresh Oops, I didn't just say that It burns to open my eyes Your poolside hyacinths still grow like wildfire Pouring over the curves of balsa chopped from your sacred woods Hey baby come over here Water makes you look so fresh Oops, I didn't just say that It burns to open my eyes
10.
Funny Bone 00:47
Mother hit her funny bone It's not funny It's a bone A bone A funny bone
11.
Dr. Boyar 02:50
Doctor Boyar- What a lazy man pills in his hands Doesn't want to learn how to drive Doctor Boyar- Glares at his chauffeur ignores his every sir Won't even acknowledge he's alive Doctor Boyar- Ugly as can be let's everyone see He's just as ugly inside Doctor Boyar- Lying to the sick slink away so slick doesn't want to be at their side "Here's the grin, let's begin this will hurt quite a bit, Here's the grin, let's begin, this will hurt quite a lot!" Doctor Boyar- Evil little man latex glove on his hand always keeps an extra near by Doctor Boyar- His only joy's at work where he acts like a jerk and makes the little children cry Doctor Boyar- always has fun evil pediatrician when he gives the children a shot Doctor Boyar- no stickers or balloons candy or cartoons decorate his office for the tots "Here's the grin, let's begin, this will hurt quite a bit, Here's the grin, let's begin, this will hurt quite a lot!" Doctor Boyar- asks little Mary if she's feeling all right... Doctor Boyar- gives her a shot and now she can't sleep at night... Doctor Boyar- What an awful shame to give a bad name to all the good doctors out there Doctor Boyar- I wish it weren't true but what can we do the dirty motherfucker doesn't care BBbbbbbtttttttt!
12.
Married Man 03:07
When I pat my strange melancholy on the hind Then you know my something precious gone and died Poking through your pale silver wire Your finger points me to a simpler time I don't know what I feel I don't know what I feel If the difference is a kiss, then I wanna be your whore Pick a couple things up from the store That's your alibi for running out the door See you later alligator nevermore What the hell did I give you my car keys for? I don't know what I feel I don't know what I feel If I could do it all again, I might be a married man Are you out of your mind? Or am I too kind? Pick my toenails one too many times? Beneath the blanket eating popcorn watching Family of Four You're crying at the story oh my lord I laughed so hard that I can't laugh no more When did I start sitting on the floor? I don't know what I feel I don't know what I feel When I woke up to the sound of your breathing all around We were dancing down this generation
13.
Hazrat 03:43
"Hazrat, take this away." Mohammedan miracle maker Shallow karma miscreant fakir master gave a yogic gift but you use it only to lift touch treasure turn tale moments later owners wail the spirit takes and it smiles your journey stretches another mile... "Hazrat, take this away." the Gita wasn't your favorite tome, there's little room in Kali's home enrich this life at the expense of the next just be careful who you've vexed twenty years to learn the trick you can't see it leave so quick you don't care while your pockets are lined and they can't stop what they can't find... "Hazrat, take this away." redemption walks a lonely road one old man, one piece of gold one more theft and you walk away you didn't bring him water today Hindi yogi opens your eyes Hazrat won't come to your cries now you walk off the karma you built and Hazrat serves only your guilt... "Hazrat, take this away."
14.
I was starving a little For my little sister Baby was feeling good Feeling high, high, high I was giving the distress call Really sticking my neck out I was drawing attention to me, me, me It was silly I took the altruism out of altruism It was silly I was born to a population doomed I was bathing little baby in a bath of herbs Cruising on LPG Feeling responsibility I was loving a little baby and little sis Drifting away from humanity It was silly I took the altruism out of altruism It was silly I was born to a population doomed
15.
I'll never forget how you came to me I found an apple in a tree When I broke through the skin There was more than food waiting within My lonely days were no more I met you in the apple core When you're near my spirits sail You're beautiful from tail to tail You make me squirm at your touch If you were cut in two I'd love you twice as much

credits

released March 1, 2001

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Apple Slap San Francisco, California

Bay area band Apple Slap served seven years worth of fine pop rock and recorded six discs of music.
The band consisted of:
Dustin Miller (guitar & vocals)
Mark Duncanson (drums & vocals)
Kevin Costa (bass & vocals 1998-2003)
Brian Margrave (guitar, keys & percussion)
Greg Dunkailo (bass & vocals 2004-2005)
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