Granny Smith

by Apple Slap

about

Apple Slap San Francisco, California

Bay area band Apple Slap served seven years worth of fine pop rock and recorded six discs of music.
The band consisted of:
Dustin Miller (guitar & vocals)
Mark Duncanson (drums & vocals)
Kevin Costa (bass & vocals 1998-2003)
Brian Margrave (guitar, keys & percussion)
Greg Dunkailo (bass & vocals 2004-2005)
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Track Name: LA Dream
She knows
She knows all the homes
Are separated by the same old tonic traffic lines

She knows
All the songs on the radio
Fit inside those fifteen minute gaps that you will drive
Those fifteen minutes last as long
as you can stand to drive

I'm trying to keep my head empty for you babe
I'm trying not to say much of anything

The dreamy grass will grow
As long as you can stretch your garden hose
As long as you can keep your neighbor city's envy dry
Planting the trees and the Starbucks mini-malls
Where the ecologies predict they'll grow
Like mutual index funds in Chinese commerce farms
And the police sip their marijuana health shakes
In the parking lots

I'm trying to keep my head empty for you babe
I'm trying not to say much of anything
I dream in garden green
But I'm dying not to settle into anything
Track Name: Sleeping in the Shade
We are the tigers of the boulevard
We are the sharks that eat the sharks
We don't wanna cause no trouble
We don't wanna hurt no one
We just want our place back in the sun

I'll see you in the shadows
I'll see you night and day
I'll see you in the shadows
Dreaming about someone worlds away

And when your daydream starts to fall apart
We'll tear the pieces into stars
Then the night will rise above us
Steal the patter from ours hearts
And give us every reason not to carry on

I'll see you in the shadows
I'll see you night and day
I'll see you in the shadows
Dreaming about someone worlds away

I'll see you sleeping in the shade
Where is your warmer place to lay?
Midnight, it's time for you play
When I shake your tender vittles
Then you wake, my little vixen

I'll see you in the shadows
I'll see you night and day
I'll see you in the shadows
Dreaming about someone worlds away

We live the lifestyles of the superstars
We build our homes and drive our cars
Don't try to keep us under
Don't try to spoil our fun
Don't tell us we're not the only ones
Track Name: Swell
She thought she might be lazy
Wait, the movement is at stake
That wave is gonna break
As she rides it out of sight

He thought she'd wait forever
Wrong - now he's all alone
Sitting in her home
So much for hue and cry

Here's a prayer for the sleeping
Wake up just in time
Here's the alarm
Safe from harm
Ride the swell and you're gone

She broke her last promise
Harsh! but who was gonna save her
From that evil wave
That was pulling her down?

He lost that old momentum
Stop - now he's gonna sink
Tumble in the drink
Maybe it's still dry

Here's a prayer for the sleeping
Wake up just in time
Here's the alarm
Safe from harm
Ride the swell and you're gone

We want to be novel, proud
The winds are gonna change
Things will rearrange
I'm not on the side

When is it made apparent?
Then you will realize
Between your happy thighs
You can feel the swell

Here's a prayer for the sleeping
Wake up just in time
Here's the alarm
Safe from harm
Ride the swell and you're gone
Track Name: Double Chocolate Overture
the doorbell chimes it's own discord
most crimes aren't underscored
but we cringe at the fate
of those who let them penetrate

so she has to raise her dress
one last time before she rests
damn the bites they come so quick
the make you sweat but they make me sick

Hopscotch a fith for the tone
you'd always hoped would leave you alone
I sold a title for escape
she sold acceptance for a rape

so she has to raise her dress
one last time before she rests
damn the bites they come so quick
the make you sweat but they make me sick

double chocolate overture
thought it's alcahol they prefer
I've cheered my dampened heart
with candy from the start
Track Name: XY Pig Dogs
Farewell, Milquetoast
There was something in the water
That would not abide by the lines
They were brown and shiny
Just like the tules
That you cut down like soldiers
On the last of your expeditions
Macheteing his inhibitions

Whether by learning or fiat
You are an ideologue

Brave cedar tirades remind me
Of the outdoors
And the prohibitions of love and science
You know they're all brunette and blonde
Just like the wildflowers they wind their way
Into every speak gone wrong
This speak's gone wrong

She is the inspiration
In his search for the missing senses
But whether by learning or fiat
She is an ideologue

Is this burning an eternal flame?
Flying on vestigial wings
Pushing up wrinkled sleeves
As it pushes its parlay past the dealers
Who, in their genetic kindness
Sprouting from 72 sites of origin,
Are point-pinning the days it takes
To swell into something like life-sized

Whether by learning or fiat
You are an ideologue
In pursuit of your personal agenda
Dressed mostly in white
Your nine-string guitar blazing
Into the sky forevermore
Track Name: Katrina
Coming to us from so far away
We moved you from your home not once, but twice
The few friends you leave behind
Will start wearing pretty dresses and dating little boys
Doing the things that little girls do

The pressure for someone who is fifteen
That balancing act is far more pressing
Than the one that wins us applause
Especially when I've not a clue why anyone
Why would anyone do this?
You decided for me, oh, didn't you?

I'll never be a little girl like you were

Seared into my head
Two thousand routines, maybe three
Who ever heard of a precious little thing like me
Having trouble with a night's sleep?
Waking to the vision of grown-ups judging me
Grown-ups who don't even know me

Katrina, my sweet child
You know that I love your kind
'Cause your not too old
But even still, you're too young for me
You're too young to hold

I'll never be a little girl like you were
And there'll never be another time when I'm fifteen
Track Name: Totem in a Teabag
Totem in a teabag, promise on your lips,
You push your luck and of course it trips,
Brush back your hair straighten your skirt,
Hobble down the street pretend it don't hurt
Fees gone up esteems gone down
You painted your face now you feel like a clown
Try to pass it off as one of those days
The ships on fire and the chaplin prays
Don't you feel like weepin'?
Something pure starts to weaken
Don't worry baby it's not your fault
Everything eventually comes to a halt
You got your lazy friends, hostile pets
And a gracious ex to pay your debts
So you let him think he's still got a chance
Ask his brother to teach you to dance
Out all night with a cousin named Max
Drinkin' red wine on the railroad tracks
Don't you feel like weepin'?
Something pure starts to weaken
Eventually one thing leads to another
And by the time you get a call from his brother
You're in a hospital bed after a hell of a night
They've taken off your legs and your feelin uptight
You tell him "Blow off and screw his brother too"
Slam the phone, call the nurse when you're through
And in the next bed graced with charm
Is a single guy who ain't got arms
Track Name: Staff Infection
Candice Blah
Candice Blah
Candice Blah

Her hi-top shoes betray her popping fresh views
Neopolitan socks don't begin to tell half of her story
She's probably not even forty

Candice Blah
Candice Blah
Candice Blah

She knows her British novel before 1810
She's travelled the world and come back again
Blue fingernails and blue toes
And who knows

Candice Blah
Candice Blah
Candice Blah

Part time on the faculty, it's a travesty
She drives to us from North Beach
In her Volkswagen bug
It's probably a very old one

Candice Blah
Candice Blah
Candice Blah

The way she moves instills collegiate blues
Hovering over the chalkboard
Slip a note under her door:
"Lecture me more..."

Candice Blah
Candice Blah
Candice Blah
Track Name: Poster Girl by Pool
Hey Cindy, have we done this before?
Did you meet me at the sliding glass door
on the other side of the pool
filled with love songs? You make me drool

Hey baby come over here
Water makes you look so fresh
Oops, I didn't just say that
It burns to open my eyes

Your hair is wet again and there's that trick again
With the thumb beneath your bikini
I can't count how many of those little things you have
Or how many times I have caught you at the beach
In a look of seduction so indiscreet
Or in the supermarket on the rack

Hey baby come over here
Water makes you look so fresh
Oops, I didn't just say that
It burns to open my eyes

Your poolside hyacinths still grow like wildfire
Pouring over the curves of balsa
chopped from your sacred woods

Hey baby come over here
Water makes you look so fresh
Oops, I didn't just say that
It burns to open my eyes
Track Name: Funny Bone
Mother hit her funny bone
It's not funny
It's a bone

A bone
A funny bone
Track Name: Dr. Boyar
Doctor Boyar- What a lazy man
pills in his hands
Doesn't want to learn how to drive
Doctor Boyar- Glares at his chauffeur
ignores his every sir
Won't even acknowledge he's alive
Doctor Boyar- Ugly as can be
let's everyone see
He's just as ugly inside
Doctor Boyar- Lying to the sick
slink away so slick
doesn't want to be at their side

"Here's the grin, let's begin
this will hurt quite a bit,
Here's the grin, let's begin, this will hurt quite a lot!"

Doctor Boyar- Evil little man
latex glove on his hand
always keeps an extra near by
Doctor Boyar- His only joy's at work
where he acts like a jerk
and makes the little children cry
Doctor Boyar- always has fun
evil pediatrician
when he gives the children a shot
Doctor Boyar- no stickers or balloons
candy or cartoons
decorate his office for the tots

"Here's the grin, let's begin, this will hurt quite a bit,
Here's the grin, let's begin, this will hurt quite a lot!"

Doctor Boyar- asks little Mary if she's feeling all right...
Doctor Boyar- gives her a shot and now she can't sleep at night...

Doctor Boyar- What an awful shame
to give a bad name
to all the good doctors out there
Doctor Boyar- I wish it weren't true
but what can we do
the dirty motherfucker doesn't care

BBbbbbbtttttttt!
Track Name: Married Man
When I pat my strange melancholy on the hind
Then you know my something precious gone and died
Poking through your pale silver wire
Your finger points me to a simpler time

I don't know what I feel
I don't know what I feel
If the difference is a kiss, then I wanna be your whore

Pick a couple things up from the store
That's your alibi for running out the door
See you later alligator nevermore
What the hell did I give you my car keys for?

I don't know what I feel
I don't know what I feel
If I could do it all again, I might be a married man

Are you out of your mind?
Or am I too kind?
Pick my toenails one too many times?

Beneath the blanket eating popcorn watching Family of Four
You're crying at the story oh my lord
I laughed so hard that I can't laugh no more
When did I start sitting on the floor?

I don't know what I feel
I don't know what I feel

When I woke up to the sound of your breathing all around
We were dancing down this generation
Track Name: Hazrat
"Hazrat, take this away."

Mohammedan miracle maker
Shallow karma miscreant fakir
master gave a yogic gift
but you use it only to lift
touch treasure turn tale
moments later owners wail
the spirit takes and it smiles
your journey stretches another mile...

"Hazrat, take this away."

the Gita wasn't your favorite tome,
there's little room in Kali's home
enrich this life at the expense of the next
just be careful who you've vexed
twenty years to learn the trick
you can't see it leave so quick
you don't care while your pockets are lined
and they can't stop what they can't find...

"Hazrat, take this away."

redemption walks a lonely road
one old man, one piece of gold
one more theft and you walk away
you didn't bring him water today
Hindi yogi opens your eyes
Hazrat won't come to your cries
now you walk off the karma you built
and Hazrat serves only your guilt...

"Hazrat, take this away."
Track Name: Cruisin' on LPG
I was starving a little
For my little sister
Baby was feeling good
Feeling high, high, high

I was giving the distress call
Really sticking my neck out
I was drawing attention to me, me, me

It was silly
I took the altruism out of altruism
It was silly
I was born to a population doomed

I was bathing little baby
in a bath of herbs
Cruising on LPG
Feeling responsibility
I was loving a little baby and little sis
Drifting away from humanity

It was silly
I took the altruism out of altruism
It was silly
I was born to a population doomed
Track Name: Epilogue: Apple Core
I'll never forget how you came to me
I found an apple in a tree
When I broke through the skin
There was more than food waiting within
My lonely days were no more
I met you in the apple core
When you're near my spirits sail
You're beautiful from tail to tail
You make me squirm at your touch
If you were cut in two I'd love you twice as much